This essential and important Call To Action is brought to you by our most beloved and benevolent Dear Leader (and Snacky-Smores)
My loyal minions … er, I mean, my fellow Americans: there is a scourge ravishing our great country and we must band together to fight it with our every effort and last drop of blood. That scourge, of course, is Republican racism. Indeed, while our enlightened and intelligent leadership works tirelessly to provide you with everything we think you need, Republicans continue to block these efforts for one reason and one reason only: racism. So please, volunteer to fight this battle with these other fine comrades:
If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman of any color, he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is.
- Former Vice Presidential Candidate Geraldine Ferraro
See Barack been, um, talking down to black people on this faith based … I wanna cut his nuts off. Barack … he’s talking down to black people.
- Former Presidential candidate Jesse Jackson
You got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.
- Vice-President Joe Biden
A few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee.
- Former President Bill Clinton
He’s light skinned and with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.
- Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid
Unless you join with the enlightened progressives, the scourge of Republican racism will continue to spread throughout the nation. Join us now (or else).