The Declaration of Intolerance

INTOLERANCE, October 15, 2010
The unanimous Declaration of the Intolerant Americans of these United States

When in the Course of human events it becomes once again necessary for The People to dissolve the political bands which have failed them completely and to reclaim the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We reaffirm the self-evidence of the Truths that all People are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, among which are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Our government must be returned to The People, deriving its limited yet just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever Our government again grows destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to reinstitute Our Founding rules of governance, laying its foundation on the Founding Principles which have proved to be the first in history to successfully effect Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that those in government long established or short should not promote nor enforce Change for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience has shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. To avoid another long train of abuses and usurpations, The People must never again allow the pursuit of variance from the American Constitution which has served Them so well for centuries. – Such has been the patient sufferance of these United States; and such is now the necessity to be Intolerant of these usurpations and to renew the Original Vision of Our Founders. The history of the present American Ruling Class is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

They have refused Assent and Compliance to Laws, especially and egregiously ones which they have so vigorously written, passed and enforced on The People.

They have forbidden Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation until their Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, they have utterly neglected to attend to them.

They have refused to acquiesce to the Will of The People when they pass other Laws for the accommodation of special interests in conflict of the Interests of The People, displaying the arrogance of Tyrants.

They have called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, inaccessible, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with their measures over the compliance of The People.

They have subverted the Rules of the Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness their invasions on the Rights of The People.

They have refused for a long time, the ability of others to be elected to office without their approval and consent.

They have endeavored to prevent the The People of these States to establish commonsense Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their illegal migrations hither, and further creating synthetic reasons of racial bias for their political gain.

They have obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing Assent to Laws and establishing Judiciary Activism.

They have appointed Judges dependent on their Will alone for the subversion of Our Constitution.

They have erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

They have suggested Standing Civilian Armies without the Consent of our legislatures for the sole purpose of political power and persuasion.

They continually attempt to render the Military defunct in times of War in favor of Political Civilian Armies to battle The People from within.

They have combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to Our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving their Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For allowing large bodies of armed enemies among us based on religion and race alone:

For protecting them, by mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with parts of the world while selling our future to others:

For regularly imposing more Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us at their arbitrary discretion, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For utilizing a formerly Free Press to be tried for pretended or perceived offences without the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For the abolition by decree or moratorium our most valuable resources:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

They have abdicated government here, by declaring us too simple to comprehend their agenda and waging War against us if we speak out against them.

They have plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

They are at this time enacting large bodies of legislative measures to indenture The People to submission, desolation, tyranny, and death by their arbitrary decree, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Heads of a civilized nation.

They have constrained our fellow Citizens from freely speaking against their Tyranny with accusations of racism.

They have excited domestic insurrections amongst us with their divisive nature specifically to solidify their political powers over the interests of The People.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in the attentions of our governing brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of their positions of power. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, reclaim the power in which we endowed them and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Americans Intolerant of socialism, in General Agreement do, in the Name, and by Authority of The good People of these United States, rightfully publish and Redeclare, That these United States are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the political parties which have so fundamentally strayed from the path of Freedom; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other what remains intact after decades of Constitutional desecration: our Lives, our Meager Savings, and our Most Sacred Honor of the Restoration and Preservation of the Greatest Nation on Earth.

- The Bad and Angry McDougal (with large assistance from some pretty smart people from the 1700s)